Full of Myself

 I just finished my walk with Grace and am getting ready to work the crossword puzzle in the newspaper. I am also feeling pretty full of myself. (Walter's translation for that is "morally superior.")

Yesterday, I had a scope done on my esophagus. For the last 6 months or so, I've had real trouble with swallowing my prozac. It feels like it's getting stuck about half way down and the pain and burning last up to 24 hours. The feeling makes me hesitate to take the pill, but if the pill doesn't go down then the anxiety rises. (I bet you've got the cycle down, right?) So I've had myself convinced that it's all in my mind because I really don't want to take prozac, but it turns out it's actually in my esophagus, which made me feel even more sane than the prozac does. Some Pepcid should help with the symptoms and prevent the inflammation from turning into an ulcer.

Also, since I'm 50, the dr. decided that while I was out with a scope stuck down my throat, they might as well knock out the dreaded colonoscopy as well. They assured me that a different scope was used. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better.

So here I am taking all care of myself, discovering that there's an actual physical reason for my prozac-swallowing issue -- add to that the fact that I went to the grocery after school, did 2 loads of laundry AND went out to eat with Cathy. There's just so little time for restricting, weighing, cutting and counting calories. Not enough time to even think about it.  Thanks be to God.

Sunday Evening

Just got back from my walk with Grace. I certainly needed my long underwear even though Grace opted out of wearing hers.

This weekend was good. Friday evening I celebrated the twins' birthday with a trip to Red Robin for supper, then we went to Tinseltown to see Promised Land. I can't believe that they are 24 years old, and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to spend their birthday with them, still.

Walter, Grace and I went hiking yesterday at Jefferson Memorial Forest -- Big Fun, for sure.

You know how you see someone cool doing something that you think is equally cool and you wish you could be that person -- if you don't have any idea what I'm talking about then you probably have way too much self-esteem to even be bothering with this blog -- Anyway, yesterday while I was hiking with this beautiful dog and following the muddy tracks of this incredible man who would turn around and offer his hand to me every now and then, I thought "Wait a minute. I'm that really cool person that I want to be."

Who would have ever thought that cool person would be 50 years old, driving a 98 Venture Van, teaching 3rd grade, writing entries for a blog every now and then. All these years I thought that the cool woman had her shit together, money in the bank, obedient children, and supper in the oven.

Turns out she just shows up as who she is, takes crazy pleasure in the squishy mud on her boots, watching her dog jump in the lake and holding the hand of a man who respects and shares those very same pleasures.

2013

I'm going to cut myself a little slack this year when it comes to the blog thing. I'm going to try to record a few things every day or so BUT I'm not going to wait for something completely developed. I'm hoping this will encourage me to record the little things that don't seem so important at the time, but loom large when pushed together.


Last night I celebrated New Year's Eve with dear friends. A midnight kiss, a champagne toast and a killer pictionary game made this the best one ever. Today I saw the movie Django with Walter and finished the book Flight Pattern by Kingsolver.

 I texted with Sam, Will & Carly are here with me. Grace and I just finished a cold, crisp walk. 
Tomorrow is back to school.
I could not ask for more.