Summer Vacation (and it continues still)

Grace and I have fallen into a fairly enviable routine. We walk, read and nap together most everyday.

In between, I've gone fishing with my dad -- we caught 13 and the dreaded turtle only managed to destroy Bo's metal basket and decapitate one fish. I also got Bo set up on an IPad, which believe it or not he actually seems to enjoy.

Oh, and Will and I went to the estate sale for BJ's stuff. I guess it was as successful as something like that can be. It was interesting to watch but, of course, it made me sad. I mean really, toys only last 75 years, if no one ever played with them. I'm glad that so many of my treasures have been worn out rather than tucked away in a safe place.

I saw Superman with Walter on father's day. I even sent a text to Jeff -- "Just wanted you to know that I'm grateful to you for the three greatest gifts in my life. Thinking of you on Father's Day." It felt good to try to see the god that dwells in him, just as he dwells in me. I'm gonna get this Jesus-following stuff down, eventually.

I've also read The Devil in the White City, Tell the Wolves I'm Home and A Small Fortune.

I went swimming with friends from school and wore a bathing suit that I bought without a panic attack. It feels so good to be regular, to be loved so openly and honestly by so many precious people.

On Friday, I went to the doctor for a six-month weigh in. In the last 3 years, my weight has only fluctuated 1 pound from 122 pounds, which is smack dab in the middle of my 120 - 125 pound goal. I will have to go back to the doctor to be weighed every 6 months for the rest of my life. I tried to talk her into a year, but she said in her much too young voice, "Angela, most women who are 50 come to the doctor at least every 6 months, even without anorexia." She seriously didn't need to get my age involved with the conversation. But on the other hand, she's got a point. Thanks to good genes, I'm a poster child for good health, and I should be thankful, even if complaining is so much fun.

Last evening, Walter and I went to Smith-Berry Winery to eat supper with my old Sunday School class and listen to what turned out to be some very good music. Who would have thought that a couple of non-wine drinkers would have had so much fun.

Having time to think in the summer has also allowed me to be aware that Walter has become my very best friend and knowing that he has my back brings me much joy. He has served to remind me that "a simple life" has plenty of room for very complex love.

So anyway, the time keeps ticking by and I'm aware and present in every tick.

Summer Vacation (continued)

Yesterday, I saw a movie, Frances Ha, and then went to eat with Cathy.

Today, I went to Kroger, and I got a little irritated with myself for feeling so impatient with the retarded guy bagging my groceries. I mean, seriously, what kind of person does that make me.

I finished reading the book The Girl in the Blue Beret by Bobbie Ann Mason and then went to see another movie with Cathy this evening, The Iceman.

Grace and I were joined by Carly for our nightly walk. We talked about her wedding plans and how the rabbits are feasting on the plants that I put out in our yard over the weekend.

(Oh, and, Kelly, I also took a nap today and yesterday, just in case you are counting!)

A Broken Home

Carly took a pie to a party a week or so ago, and she had put it in this really retro cake holder that Walter had given to her, when he was cleaning out his mom's things. She came home excited, telling me how cool everybody thought it was and how they wanted to know where she got it. She said, "I just told them that my mom's boyfriend gave it to me."

Hearing her say that caught me off guard -- hearing my daughter talk about her "mom's boyfriend" is certainly not something I aspired to when I was young. I mean I was going to die married to her father. I mean, that was the plan.

I think Carly saw the weird look on my face, but instead of going "there"  we both laughed as I said, "Oh my god, you come from a broken home."

 As a teacher, hearing a kid talk about his "mom's boyfriend" always brought just a little bit of a cringe. My superior attitude thought that this was just another thing that separated my greatness from their subpar living. I mean if you can't keep your marriage together, how can you possibly love your children and do what's best for them. Right?

Since my own divorce, I've realized that Broken Home is actually an oxymoron (my dad's favorite word). I mean think about it. If we define a home as the place where we feel safe and loved and valued and affirmed, it can never be broken. It doesn't matter whose boyfriend, or dog, or child, or partner, or grandmother, or friend, or cat lives there -- because if those beings are loving one another then its all good.

My house is often a little crazy, filled to the brim with animals and people, the washing machine going non-stop, a ballgame playing on the  tv in the background, the garage door going up and down and the driveway often looking like a used car lot, but, trust me, it is anything but broken. It is filled with acceptance and love and, of course, Grace, and not just the dog kind.

SV: Day 6 (I think)

Yesterday I went grocery shopping, which made the twins very excited. I walked with Grace, took a nap, read tons. Carly and Will and I grilled steaks and ate together. I visited with Walter in the evening. I also made an appointment for Grace to get her hair buzzed on Saturday. Oh, and of course, I worked the crossword puzzle in the newspaper.

I love how quickly I have fallen into a summer routine.

Today, I ate breakfast with my CRew -- that's our 'hood version of friends from Crestwood. Then, Cathy and I went all over Louisville puppy shopping for Cathy. We thought we had found one, but took Grace to meet her and the new dog became fairly aggressive -- so that was the end of that. Grace is so much like a Teddy Bear that it's kind of like, if you can't get along with Grace then it's probably you.  Oh, and we also made a trip to Lowe's for some on-sale flowers. I planted mine this evening then had a milkshake on the deck with Will and Carly. Tomorrow I have a professional development meeting all day so I guess that doesn't count as summer, but it's way too hard to complain with all of June and July stretched out in front of me.

SV: Day 4 (the morning after)

I went to church this morning then hung out with my 3 year friends for Sunday School. After church and lunch, I took a nap, read some and enjoyed the quiet of the day.

Cathy and I went to see The Place Beyond the Pines in the afternoon and enjoyed supper together after that. I've missed her and it was good to be with her.

In Sunday School, Kathleen raised her arms to me, saying, "Angela, I need to pick you up and hold you." I smiled, and reached down to pick her up. Her being three and all it was pretty easy for me to infer that in fact she wanted me to pick her up and hold her.

I wonder how often as adults we pick up our kids, our animals, our friends when in truth we are the ones in need of holding, but just too proud to ask.

SV - Day 3

I spent most of the day alone -- the twins went to Bowling Green this morning. It was actually kind of nice. I cleaned my house - sorta, did a load of laundry, mowed my grass, read and took a nap.

This evening Walter and I went to a friend's retirement party. Took my Grace for a walk and am getting ready for bed.

Life is good.