A Tuesday Prayer

Thank you, God, for showing up today in so many ways. I guess I should really say, Thank you, God, for allowing me to actually see the many ways you showed up today.

You showed up in:

• Amelia's goodmorning hug.
• Joe's and Justin's outstretched hands and sneaky grins, telling me they miss 3rd grade.
• the radishes, and lettuce and spinach and arugula, my 3rd graders harvested this afternoon.
• Grace's afternoon romp around the yard.
• mom and dad's collective voices telling me they love me.
• an email from Aunt Blanche.
• a hug from my girl.
• a pat on the back from my boy.
• W's unexpected visit, just to "hug my neck." (He's so southern!)
• a song from itunes.
• a book on my nook.

You are completely old school and 21st century - the alpha and the omega, the sunrise and the sunset, too much to comprehend on a Tuesday night. You were there with me in the darkness where you reminded me that I was created to be a child of light. You are with me in this goodness and you will stay constant when shadows creep in again.

Forgive me for my impatience, for my constant struggle to "fix" things, for my inability to see my fellow human beings (especially the ones who truly annoy me) with your eyes.

Thanks for letting me see you today, God. I'll be looking for you tomorrow as well.
Amen

Words

 So very many words are floating around in my head this evening, but they don't seem to have a particular order or feel. They actually are starting to get on my nerves, in a really weird way. I thought I would try to get a few of them down on "paper" to maybe clear my mind before my bedtime rituals begin. I'm not sure if this counts as "free writing" or what but I'm kind of doubting that a poem will spring forth or anything, but what the hell. . . here goes.

Warning to reader:

1. Please do not try to figure out anyhidden meaning because there isn't one. 
2. Give up on trying to sequence any thing. It's just a big messy circle, much like life.
3. Don't worry that I've stopped taking my prozac. This is just regular crazy. you know, the good kind.

Random thoughts:

1. My twins talk alot.
2. Grace loves the rain.
3. I love watching "Hoarders" TV show, and that really disturbs me.
4. Sometimes rain makes me sad.
5. I don't like to be called a poopyhead, even by a 3rd grader.
6. I feel guilty that I haven't talked with my mom as much lately. She's done her time with me in the dark and she deserves to share in the light.
7. I'm glad Sam is happy and living in New York.
8. I wish Will would get a haircut.
9. School is tough this year -- it's kind of like my own little mission field. These kids need love and consistency and then just a little bit more love. It's an honorable profession, but it's exhausting.
10. I really like the idea that Bo put his new strawberry bed close to the house -- really cool stuff.
11. I can't believe that I am allowing myself to love and be loved by Walter.
12. I wish Rufus would not walk on the keyboard.
13. I wonder if my writing will ever get back to normal.
14. I never eat just one Krispy Kreme -- I always eat them two at a time.
And finally, what is normal?

1.