Love - Redneck Style

I've made a new friend this school year -- David's* mom.

David is in my third grade class. He is a few pounds overweight, wears his jeans like most good plummers, writes journal entries about a dad who uses drugs and doesn't answer the phone when his son calls. He takes his backpack to the office on Friday so that it can be filled with enough food to get him through the weekend. He takes medicine twice a day to help him be able to attend to his own thoughts for more than a few seconds and his favorite word is "actually."

Looking at David with middle-class, white eyes, it was easy to put him on the shelf with the other kids that come from poor, unstable homes, with too little love and support, but then I met his mom and I looked at David with new eyes.

That first meeting was unforgetable. It consisted of  a conversation between the two of us that one of her boys kept interrupting. In my best teacher-voice, I said, "Your mom and I are talking now. When we're finished, then you will have a turn to talk and ask questions."

With the next interruption, David's mom looked at her younger son and said, "Didn't she just tell you to shut the hell up?! This is important!" (Translation: Your teacher and I are discussing your education right now. She asked you to be quiet. Now show a little respect.)

Since that encounter, she has been a regular Tuesday morning volunteer in our classroom community. She comes in at 10:00 with a 20oz. Diet Mountain Dew and purse with a clasp that says "Redneck." She lets my students use her iphone's internet for research and loves on them like they were her own.  She sometimes struggles with thirds and sixths during math games, but who among us doesn't?

You see, David's mom is much like a Mama Bear when it comes to her cubs. She will seriously take you out if you mess with one of her boys. No one is safe. You can say what you want about the woman when you compare her to the world I live in. . . she spends too much money on Bingo and cigarettes. The food choices she makes are not the healthiest and pro-wrestling might not be the best spectator sport. But the woman loves those boys, and it's not a passive love either.

She makes sure that her kids do not fall through the cracks. She wants them to be educated with challenging work while guided with a gentle hand and heart. She will not tolerate bullies or office staff that sometimes tries to dismiss her as an uneducated, second class mom. She wants her children's case workers to do their job and she dreams of the gentle, strong men she is raising her sons to be.

Underneath her rather gruff exterior, she has a heart of gold and a tender spot for all women who are struggling to raise their children. She even offered her home to another mom who was in danger of losing her own kids, due to homelessness. In her words, "It's just not right to have your kids snatched away just because you can't pay your damn bills."

She's taught me a lot this year, that love is honest and sometimes loud. It is persistent and has strong opinions as to what is "just not right." She's taught me that sometimes love drinks diet Mountain Dew and smokes too many cigarettes.

Turns out David is probably the luckiest little boy in my class. I pray that all of my children experience that same kind unflinching love.


*name changed to protect the very fortunate