Do-Overs

In true anti-Norman Rockwell fashion, my Christmas holiday consisted of pretty good stuff AND one major scene, complete with stomping feet, raised voices and slamming doors. Of course, Sam was the main character in the scene, with me as the supporting actor. Translation: Sam was making the noise and the noise was directed at me.

This was a scene we've practiced several times in the last few years, but this one had a different ending, with me telling him very quietly that I would not allow him or anyone else to treat me in such a way and that if he continued he would need to leave my house. (Isn't it amazing that it only took three years of therapy before I was able to say those words!?)

He continued. . .

I told him to leave. . .

Tough words to say and tough words to hear.

Just this last week, he sent me an email apologizing for his behavior and asking me to forgive him.

Part of me wished that I could punch a rewind button that would give us both an opportunity to relive that moment of discontent and make choices that would have been healthy for both of us. But what fun would that be. . . besides it takes big mistakes to learn big lessons.

So, with his apology, I smiled to myself, thanked him for the note and returned him to his honored place in my heart and home. I didn't even bother to say "Go and sin no more." I'll just enjoy this calm and try to stay strong during the next round of thunder and lightning.

I'm thankful for love that is strong enough to endure a slamming door. I'm thankful that even after 25 years of being his mother there are still lessons that only I can teach him. (Who would have thought that teaching him to ride his bike would have been easier and take less time than teaching him how to treat women?)

 I'm thankful for being able to grant (and receive) do-overs. I'll be there to give them as long as my kids need them. After all, God is willing to do the same for me.