A New Day (tomorrow)

I survived jury duty and the gynecologist. I sat for five hours in the jury pool room reading and fretting. (I also have to report again tomorrow.) I was released just in time to make it to my drs. appointment. Dr. Evans responded to me in such a great way. I hadn't been in three years, and her first question was so tell me what's happened in three years. When I tried to laugh off the question, she didn't laugh. I quickly mentioned that I had divorced and that I had been in recovery from an eating disorder for two years. She wanted to know everything about the anorexia.

 She asked where I received treatment, who my aftercare therapist was, if my insurance covered any treatment. She wanted to know what meds I was on, how she could help me, if she should contact my therapist since I was clearly stressed (high bp) about the scale. She also put at the top of my chart "DO NOT WEIGH" for future visits. She said the hallway in a drs. office, with absolutely no mental/emotional support was not a safe place for me to be weighed. Too bad I didn't know that yesterday. Next year, I suppose I won't have to worry as much.

I didn't handle this stress as well as I would have liked, but I went and I talked. It's just that I felt "sick" again when so much (maybe all) of our conversation was about anorexia. I wish I could meet her for lunch so she would realize that I am a great woman, living a great life who happens to have an eating disorder. Instead, I think she probably saw an anorexic struggling with staying well. In her defense, maybe today I was an anorexic struggling with staying well, but just for today. Being an anorexic is too time consuming and exhausting. I've got more important things to do.