A Walk with Grace

Grace and I walk a lot, in all kinds of weather, three times a day. Some people would even say we're a bit compulsive with our walking. I like to think that we're purposeful.

My purpose is to use one of my "coping strategies" to fight the daily voice of anorexia. Walking fits right in there with: prozac, therapy, journaling, eating and sleeping. I also find the physical act of putting one foot in front of the other profoundly life-changing, both metaphorically and literally. Finally, I offer up our walks as a prayer, a prayer of thanksgiving for this moment.

Grace's purpose is little less "heady" but no less important or profound. Grace wants to smell gross stuff and, even better than smelling, she is in search of sticks. Sometimes she finds her stick in the first few moments of our walk. Other times it is nearing the end. Occasionally she finds small, chewy sticks that she chews up with immediate satisfaction. Some days she brings back sticks that need to come in the house; sticks that must be contemplated and chewed at length. Every now and then her stick is so heavy that she looks to me for help in carrying it. . . especially if she has other needs to attend to, mainly sniffing out the perfect spot to poop.

Grace's deep interest in sticks reminds me of my own search for recovery. (At this stage, maybe everything reminds me of recovery!) Anyway, every morning I begin my search again. Sometimes that particular step in recovery brings immeditiate satisfaction. Other times I need to take my time and think it through. Often, when other things need my attention (not particularly pooping) like my kids or my work there are people around me that help to "carry" my recovery.

I guess my point is that Grace and I both keep looking, with expectancy and hope. We take the walks as they come; some are easier than others. But, the walks are lnice, with a companion who adores you. And we're both buying into each other's beliefs. I firmly know in my heart that a dog can never experience too many sticks, and Grace is equally convinced that I can never be too recovered.

It's time to walk. . . .